I survived it. It was so weird. I got emotional, thinking, "this is it...this is what I came here for...I can't believe it." It made clinical feel like make-believe...a dream I was going to wake up from at any moment. This isn't me standing here in this lab coat (we have to wear it) with this speculum in my hand explaining to this 18 year-old girl that her discharge is normal. Can't be me who just found a lump (benign- "always been there" per patient, + preceptor verified it wasn't really a "lump," but great job feeling it!) on size G (yes, G) breasts on my first breast exam. Who found the cervix all by herself on her second patient of the day. And all of this on a day that was supposed to only be "observational."
Today was one of those days that made me realize all over again that there are certainly things we are meant to do in this life, and if you are lucky enough/work hard enough you might actually find yourself doing that very thing you were meant to do at that specific time.
I wish this for everybody because it feels so. damn. good.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
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8 comments:
I'm so happy for you. I hope I will feel the same way when I'm doing my first GYN exam. I usually feel completely excited when I'm at a birth. Because I feel like *that's* what I was meant to do. I'm a doula so I attend births also.
YAY!!!
It DOES feel good doesn't it!
For me it was like my hands knew what to do as if they'd done it before.
It's a wonderful thing to find reassurance in these tasks which will become a mainstay of midwifery practice.
Almost as though you were already a midwife.
XxM
yay! when you can wield your speculum like it's a part of your hand, that's when you've got it made (I don't have that, btw).
i'm so excited for you!
Congratulations...You are right, you do have something to prove and you are doin the damn thang!!! Keep up the good work!
Thanks folks!
Morag you hit it on the head...my hands felt like they knew what to do even though I am *SO* new at it all. It was so strange and wonderful...magical even!
Sweet! Do you get a prize for finding the cervix on your second patient?! (maybe a doughnut?)
this is so exciting! Congrats!
LOL at "a doughnut" LOL LOL so fitting!
Congratulations!!!
Here's wishing you a lifetime of work you meant to be doing.
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