Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Day One of Freedom

A million things to say and no idea where to start. I feel like my head is going to explode with all of my thoughts. Common sense says "one thought at a time" but my thoughts don't emerge that way. My thoughts bounce around my skull, then they fight for my attention and the right to be first. My book list is long and overwhelming. I'm taking the pressure off of myself by saying even if I only read one book chosen completely and entirely by me...I will have accomplished something. It's frustrating because after being crammed with junk from other people, it's harder to think for myself. It's like what do I say? About what? Why that? What can I possibly say that everybody else hasn't already said? That's what I would want to start with, but there's little of that left, I think?! What's for certain is that there should be no pressure involved in this undertaking of three weeks of freedom.

With that in mind, I've been tagged! I think already this tag before, but I'll do it again as an entry into my new found freedom!

I believe the rules are to post 7 random things and then tag folks.

1. My brother calls me "sister." I mean really. Like "mama" or "papa," but sister. As in never by my first name. Sometimes when I read characters in books who are called "sister" it seems so strange to think that that's what I'm called, too. I miss my brother. He's turning 13 on Sunday. I feel like I'm missing his whole life right now.

2. I love that navelgazing, and sagefemme, and darkdaughta post so many pics/videos on their websites. I'm jealous. I've been weighing my anonymity (what's left of it...which is very, very little) with putting it all out there so I can be creative, too. So far all I've convinced myself of is that I can post anonymous type photos, LOL. *sigh*

3. I watched Harry Potter last night and was disappointed with Hermione's character. I always liked her. She could be unappologetically smart and bold. But this time she had almost no role at all, except for a minute moment of critical thinking when she asked Harry "but what if that's what they want you to see?" Other than that, flat. So disappointed. But I did appreciate the whole "don't let the 'darkness' take over your mind, you must revenge against mind domination" plot of the movie, especially in light of my recent thoughts on the topic.

4. I am at the library and I am about to leave with "Growing Up Fast" by Joanna Lipper, "Promises I Can Keep" by Edin and Kefalas, and "Women, Race, and Class" by Angela Davis from the library.

5. My mama is coming to visit us in a week! I am *so* excited. Even if we don't do anything. Just to have her here. Just to lay around. Just to know that for almost week she will not have to lift a finger. Not cook. Not clean. Not even answer to "mama" if she doesn't want to.

6. I'm struggling with how I'm going to make a change in the world through midwifery. I worry that all of the things I want to do (teaching, clinical practice, and research) are not physically possible in the way I imagine them to least not without taking a considerable (ie: unacceptable) amount of time away from my family. I know I can't plan for everything, but I'm thinking about it all.

7. My blog has been boring me.

1 comment:

Emory Student Midwife said...

I agree with #6 completely. You articulated it perfectly.

Ps. Your blog doesn't bore me. :)