Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

It's That Time Again

Finals are here, and I'm stressin, just a lil bit.

Deep breathing isn't really helping...but I guess it could be worse. I had my first ever panic attack last year, in nursing school. It was textbook; my heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn't breathe, my chest was hurting...I thought I was having a heart attack and that I was really going to die...shaking/trembling and feeling like I was going to faint. Yeah. It was bad. It was the day I received the "you're not cut out for nursing school" letter, which happened to be the night before a huge exam. That was my first and only attack, and really it has kept me from getting as stressed as I used to get about these exams because nursing school is not going to kill me. Nu uhn. I'm not having it.

I missed out on 4 hours of studying today because I had to take the shift of someone who had a final today. I usually get to study at work, but for some reason they gave me 3 hours and 20mins worth of work today. I could not believe it. Usually, when you are kind enough to fill in for someone...on a Saturday, they don't give you much to do and you can study. But not today. I wish I hadn't of taken this shift, but it's over in 15 blessed minutes. I have never had this much work to do at this job, it only takes me 45mins-1hr at the most. I'm working of my stress levels. It doesn't help that I have four finals this week, 3 of which are cumulative.

I will get through this week.

I will get through this week.

I will. Yes uh hun, I will.


that big girl said...

yes, ma'am, you will!

What's magic is that you don't even have to be able to envision HOW you will get through this week. You just will do it.

I'm sure it will be easier to envision the flop into the comforter-nest that you can make yourself when it's over. I'm typing from mine right now, all covered up, with only my hands showing, and let me tell you, it's good.

I wish you Luck! Deep breaths! A path clear of jerk-offs!

Emory Student Midwife said...

Good luck -- you will do well! I have my first cumulative final this morning at 9 am. But first, my clinical evaluation with my preceptor @ 0745.

Anonymous said...

I have not been in your shoes. I have peeked in at your blog from time to time.

I know you will do well, you are smart, articulate and caring. Sorry that the last shift was full of work.

You are right-and you know it. You will get through this. I would bet you know more than you think you do.

BTW, I did not comment on an earlier post. I can say that I would be honored if someone took the time with me that you have your patients. You will be AWESOME as a midwife. I can honestly say that I don't have all the same issues that your clients do-but I have others. Some are things my GYN does not really understand-but he needs to. Yeah I am thinking about changing.

Best of luck on your exams-I will keep you in my thoughts!