Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Monday, October 13, 2008

We Lost One

There is a discussion about a midwifery case that's currently in the news over at navelgazing's place. My small group decided to use this case for our ethics roundtable. We will discuss what supposedly happened in this case, and then embellished variations (which we will very clearly separate out from the actual case) to stimulate discussion. We have a very home-birth friendly cohort, so hopefully the discussion will be good.

As for the rest of the semester, I'm up to my ears in pregnancy complications and thesis writing... and I'm supposed to be up to my eyeballs in policy analysis, but I'm behind in the reading for that class... it's so dry. So, so, dry. I need to get my arse in gear. I have a lot due in the next few weeks, including a presentation in professional issues in midwifery. My topic is "black midwifery" but I don't know what I'm doing yet. I'm considering doing a talk on the history of the short-lived Tuskegee School of Nurse-Midwifery, but I don't know yet...

We lost a student from our cohort last week. She will be coming back next year, but is no longer a member of our class. It sucks to lose someone. This program is very, very difficult. Most days I feel like I'm barely here... like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop... like someone is going to come and say I, too, am no longer in my class... that I will have to return next year... that 2009 is not my year after all. I look at all I'm learning and I think "there's no way I can do this." But then I remind myself that of course I can do this- everyone thinks they can't when they're at this point of the program, but then they all do it. But then I am reminded by situations like hers that making it is not a given. At any given point in time, you can drown instead of barely treading the water. There's such a fine line between having your mouth under the water and having your mouth and nose under the water... and I can't swim...

but I can hold my breath for a very long time

Hopefully I can hold it long enough to float my azz back to the shallow end.

We came down to our inlaws place for a few days to get some business in order. I need to go the state board of nursing to apply for a license in this state, and I needed to get my hair rebraided.
Unfortunately this all fell on an ovulation weekend, so yet another month is gone on the baby making front (and my temps/cycle got all messed up because I'm sick) But it was good to be home.


Lovepoetically said...

WOW!!!!! I too am like the person who was in search of this blog! I am beyond elated as I just typed in my google search engine "minority midwife" to see that youre back! It is such a relief! I am currently a woman of color, a junior, at an ivy-league caliber undergraduate school, similar to your graduate school, and i am strongly considering nursing-midwifery, alongside public health as opposed to obstetrics. Thank you for coming back, your voice is much needed.

Loving Pecola said...

Welcome back! I hope I can become a regular writer again, I've missed it (and the readers) immensely.