This article was recently printed in The New York Times:
Facing Life Without Children When It Isn't by Choice
And then the comments came...
I think it must be a natural response to ask an infertile couple if they will adopt. I'm not sure why people can't understand that it's not the same. I understand the "do you want to raise children?" or "do you want to be pregnant?" questions, but I do not understand the judgment that comes after the answer. I would raise the children of people I know intimately, but I would not adopt a random child. If something happened and a child was placed in my arms, I would not leave it on the side of the road, but I will not be going out to look for such a child. And my first instinct would not be to keep the baby placed in my arms...straight to the police station we would go.
There's a lot I could say. But you know what, I don't feel like it. I'm sad that people dont/can't get it. I'm frustrated that our compassion is virtually non-existent in this country.
I really love comment #50.
I'm glad people point out that the article is lacking people of color and men.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
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2 comments:
I will ask you for a moment of compassion yourself.
Those of us who cannot fathom why you wouldn't choose to adopt if you were infertile know the joy that children... ANY children... would bring to someone's life that wants to parent.
I don't get AT ALL the issue of biology. Maybe because I have had a (step-)son since his birth, that I nursed and parented for 22 years. To me, he is as much mine as my own biological kids.
So, while you don't "get" us, I don't understand how YOU don't "get" what we think!
Perhaps this is the chance to agree to disagree?
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