Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Infertility in the News, cont. from comments

Navelgazing I'm not even sure we disagree (yet). I can understand why *some* people want to adopt. I can understand bonds to children that are not biological...I have plenty of those. Like I said, I understand the pregnancy vs parenting question - just not the judgement...and those first few comments are full of judgement. Just because you found adoption/step parenting to be wonderful, that doesn't mean that it's good for everyone...and I really, really disagree that being infertile some how means that you should automatically consider adoption...or take on the abandoned children of the world. Some people DO understand the need for biological connection and the process of being pregnant, giving birth, AND parenting...and want that, or they will choose to live a childfree or childless life. That's *their* choice.

I was raised by a stepfather in conjunction with my bio father and I most certainly called him on father's day, in fact I called before my bio father, not on purpose, just whoever I dialed first. And I have had a hand in raising a child or two that I love more than I could ever imagine.

But that's not the point...the point I was making is that adoption is not the cure for infertility.

Adoption does not suddenly cure the grief.

Adoption is not for everyone, and there should be NO PUSH WHATSOEVER for infertile couples to adopt anymore than there is for fertile couples to do so.

I believe the word I used was SAD. It does make me sad that this is hard for people to understand. I also said we are lacking in compassion, and I meant it. These posts are about having compassion and understanding for those who are in the throes of infertility, and so was the article...NOT about how wonderful adoption is. That is another story, and I'm sure you can find plenty, plenty of them on the WWW. But there is very little public compassion for people, especially women, who can not have children - despite the fact that this country has always conflated womanhood and motherhood.

I think adoption can be/is wonderful.

But I think infertility is a separate experience and should be acknowledged/respected/compassionately handled as such.

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