Every day I find myself whispering "be patient" to myself in the two seconds that I am not freaking out over not having a job... or even an interview... or even a call back.
I'm telling myself not to panic. Not to send my resume all over the country. To just stay put in this little city I am falling in love with and have faith that I will be able to find a job around here.
I was not prepared for this part.
I pride myself on being prepared.
I know this could be an adventure. I could go ahead and send my resume into the wind and interview in places I never imagined living. We could pick up and move to a reservation or a rural town. The man says he'll live wherever... for a little while.
But I don't want to.
It's not that I'm not adventurous. It's not that I'm not a risk taker.
It is that I'm tired of moving. Tired of starting over.
I want to settle down. I need health insurance and access to advanced medical treatments. I want to come home to a furnished house with furniture I picked out and art on the walls. I want to build community without the "we'll be leaving soon" detachment mechanisms.
I've earned a break from adventure and risk taking and starting over and even excitement for a while. I've walked confidently/scarily into life changing opportunities, and grown from it.
But I'm sitting down now...
Because there is beauty and honor and challenges and growth and happiness in the stillness, too.