Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find it...so I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Comprehensive Exam

I took and passed my comprehensive exam last week.

Relief.

I sat in my last class of nursing/midwifery school... ever... last week. 

Bliss.

Some folks were nostalgic, some sad, some tired, some indifferent. I fall into the "tired" category. As we sat listening to presentations and sharing our thoughts with faculty about this experience, I realized that I had left, mentally, long ago. Home, for me, was already waiting. I couldn't wait to get back to the man. Back to my apartment. My bed. My new city.  I will finish my thesis over the next couple of days, and then I'll be done. One of my classmates summed it best: "I'm getting my MSN, and no matter what happens after this, no one can take that away from me." Ditto.

I'm sitting here trying to apply for jobs. It's weird. I apply for random jobs, so far only one them as a midwife. One as an RN. One as a secretary. One for the federal government. After midwifery being my life for three years... it's like I want a break from it, I don't want anything to do with it.... I'm kind of burnt out.  Also, midwifery is not really like I thought it'd be. I have yet to give comprehensive care to a woman from conception to birth. I never got to catch the baby of a woman I met more than once or twice. Most babies I caught were to women I had never met. This isn't what imagined for my life when I went into it, so it's been a little weird trying to re-imagine midwifery and my place in it. There's still a place or two that I'd work as a full scope midwife, so all is not lost, but I'm definitely broadening my career outlook. I'm also thinking about working in environments that are friendly for the "trying to conceive" life we're going to be entering... and sadly, ironically, midwifery isn't always the best career for that!?!? 

And on top of it all, I'm always looking for a doctoral program... but I'd also like to buy a home before I do that ( I know that sounds backwards since technically I might find a really great school in another part of the country, but basically I want to be completely settled before going back to school... I'm sick of apartments, sick of moving, sick of starting over, and if that means I will have to choose a local school, so be it.)

4 comments:

Jamielynnlynn said...

Congrats!!!! I've been lurking for quite a while and just wanted to share.

k. emvee said...

I second Jamielynnlynn's comment. Congrats!

And have you considered doing homebirths as a CNM? I have no idea how feasible that is for you right now or in the area where you're living, but it might give you a bit more of that continuity of care experience you've been looking for ...

I guess more than that, I'd be fascinated to hear whether that is even presented as an option to graduating CNMs. Just because it's an option legally doesn't mean it's actually a do-able option.

slh35661 said...

As a midwife who has been at it awhile, I have to tell you midwifery is hard work no matter what kind of practice you are in. It isn't the life for everyone. But if you want a practice where you have a life besides work, there are many practices that have that option. Look for practices with more than you and one other taking call. There are also practices out there that see the clientele you are talking about wanting to work with. Again, you have to be on the look out for those jobs.
The main thing is when you get done with such an intense program you have to understand the pressure cooker is now off and it is done. Sometimes that is such a relief that you have to allow yourself time off from it before moving on to use what you went to school to do. Be patient with yourself. Keep networking and you will find what you want.
Personally, it has taken me 12 years and 5 practices to get it right. I hope you find your ideal situation faster than I have.

Anonymous said...

It can happen--I've been with my nurse-midwife for 25 years, through 3 pregnancies. She has been with me since we were young women. Now we are middle aged together, and she cares for my teen aged daughter.