I sat in my last class of nursing/midwifery school... ever... last week.
Some folks were nostalgic, some sad, some tired, some indifferent. I fall into the "tired" category. As we sat listening to presentations and sharing our thoughts with faculty about this experience, I realized that I had left, mentally, long ago. Home, for me, was already waiting. I couldn't wait to get back to the man. Back to my apartment. My bed. My new city. I will finish my thesis over the next couple of days, and then I'll be done. One of my classmates summed it best: "I'm getting my MSN, and no matter what happens after this, no one can take that away from me." Ditto.
I'm sitting here trying to apply for jobs. It's weird. I apply for random jobs, so far only one them as a midwife. One as an RN. One as a secretary. One for the federal government. After midwifery being my life for three years... it's like I want a break from it, I don't want anything to do with it.... I'm kind of burnt out. Also, midwifery is not really like I thought it'd be. I have yet to give comprehensive care to a woman from conception to birth. I never got to catch the baby of a woman I met more than once or twice. Most babies I caught were to women I had never met. This isn't what imagined for my life when I went into it, so it's been a little weird trying to re-imagine midwifery and my place in it. There's still a place or two that I'd work as a full scope midwife, so all is not lost, but I'm definitely broadening my career outlook. I'm also thinking about working in environments that are friendly for the "trying to conceive" life we're going to be entering... and sadly, ironically, midwifery isn't always the best career for that!?!?
And on top of it all, I'm always looking for a doctoral program... but I'd also like to buy a home before I do that ( I know that sounds backwards since technically I might find a really great school in another part of the country, but basically I want to be completely settled before going back to school... I'm sick of apartments, sick of moving, sick of starting over, and if that means I will have to choose a local school, so be it.)