Breathe Easy, You've Found Me ((HUGS))

People will wonder why this blog is needed, why minority midwifery student? It's very simple actually; I was looking for this blog...but I couldn't find I created it. We all have unique experiences, and every experience, every story, can help someone else. I am a black girl from the hood at an ivy league professional school. That, alone, is reason enough to write. Somebody was looking for this blog. Someone wanted proof that what I'm doing can be done - even when you come from where we come from.

To that person especially, WELCOME.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Into Open Arms

Reflecting on the day I was born makes me think of my mother.

At 4:32 she risked death (have I beat you over the head enough with the maternal mortality stats for black women?), insanity, and her identity to give me a chance.

I got a card in the mail from my daddy. That is his way, I love it.

He still sends me Valentine cards, too, no matter where or how old I am.

It's such a contrast to the man who doesn't do much of any of it, which is also fine by me. The man is practical which I love.

I have a midterm today.

And a pharm quiz.

I'll be at school from 8ish to 6ish....deep breaths...

Ugh. I just wanna go somewhere and write.

I'm so sick of school.

I'm on auto piolot now.

Usually I make my birthday its own holiday but we happened to have midterms, so that was out.

That's ok, there's always 4 days. Yeah. 4. OMG.

I was saying to someone last week that I was ready to have kids not because my clock is ticking, but because I have this odd feeling of my body settling in on itself. Getting comfortable.Bones setting into their final place...fat shifting into it's final place.

"I feel old," I said.

But it wasn't upsetting. It was relief. But still odd.

I was born today, 28 years ago.

On purpose.

To people who wanted me, were waiting on me.

And for a very long time, there was only me.

It has made a difference in my life.

I think of Brittany and I am happy. And sad. And grateful.

I woke up today.

My middle name is Joy.

Today, more than ever, that means something.


s2 said...

Happy Birthday.

Dark Daughta said...

Happy birthday, too. Trust me 28 isn't old. You'll look back at 28 and have different thoughts about fat and bones setting...when you turn 40. Hee, hee, hee!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

(former apprentice, thinking of jumping on the CNM route)