Post-Midterm Exhale

The midterm was tough. But of course it would be. I'm glad it's over. I actually ended up going to sleep the night before for about 6 hours, instead of studying through the night, and I am so glad that I did. We still had class after the exam and I had class the rest of the day, too. I needed those hours to be able to function.

Today I went to the bookstore to browse and have a treasured marshmallow mocha latte. I browsed a book on taking risks by Ben Carson, and was so grateful to have found it. He talks about where and how he grew up, and how going to college at ivy1 was one of biggest risks he would ever take in life, among others. He talked about how at first it was just a big deal to actually get to the ivy league schools, but in his first semester he realized that the real challenge was going to be staying there. He realized he wasn't as smart as he thought he was... that the ivy kids were much smarter... that the SAT scores that he once thought were stellar- because they were record breaking for the public school district in his city- were below average... were the lowest of anyone at that table that day...

I remember that realization, too. It wasn't exactly the same because I was never under the impression that my scores were stellar, but I do remember being very shocked. Sad. Frustrated. Down right teary at the fact that I was... am... so far behind everyone else based on the drastically different educations between me and most of those who are able to attend this institution.

Then he talked about being at the bottom of his class, and how he wasn't an auditory learner, and how he had encountered an advisor who suggested that he wasn't cut out for medical school. No one has said this to me at school, but I have received my share of "you're failing and maybe you should leave" letters. Same premise, but much more cowardly in my opinion.

Anyway, all of this to say, it was great to get all of that from like 10 pages of a book... the feeling of familiarity... the encouragement from seeing that someone who has faced even more than you have, has been exactly where you are standing and came out on the other side... and not just made it, but turned out be Ben Carson... is so useful.

It was exactly what I needed to give me the faith to push on for the second half of the semester. This is it folks. I have only 1/2 a semester of classes left in midwifery school. I just have to hang on, and finish strong. I can do this. I can do this.

The man and I had a special dinner tonight. We needed to reconnect. I'm glad we took the time to make it special, otherwise life gets old, right?

My next countdown is to our trip home to my family's place this time.